Crummy bakery, coming soon

Ooh, an "upscale bakery"! Opening soon in downtown Oak Park! There's nothing like an overpriced cupcake to go with your overpriced cup of gourmet coffee.

Oak Park dreams of conspicuous consumption

Borders bookstores will be closing soon, including the one in Oak Park that drove out nearby price-gouger Barbara's. Oak Parkers are whining about the loss while dreaming of alternatives that could fill the vacant space. Will it be an electric car dealership? A two-story Starbucks burnt coffee superstore? Or a spankin' new Apple Store for the sheeple? ("We think it's a no-brainer site for [Apple]," says the village manager. Sounds like a match made in heaven.)

Oak Park is not the answer.

Other things that are not the answer:

Michael Moore is not the answer.
Al Franken is not the answer.
Noam Chomsky is not the answer.
Lance Armstrong is not the answer.
Mohammed is not the answer.
ACORN is not the answer.
Four more years definitely is not the answer.
Canadian bacon is not the answer.
Letting your kids bite people at Gameworks is not the answer.

More things that are not the answer:  www.warisnottheanswer.net